Lollypop Disasters.

Why the fuck is it still so hard to open chupa-chups? It has been so long since I had a lollypop, at least a year, I would say… In fact, I would say I probably have one lollypop a year, because, hey, not 12 years old anymore. I’m not so fascinated with lollies anymore - jubes and jelly lollies in particular just gross me out now. They have no flavour - they are just this weird textured blobby thing. Back to chupa-chups.After  work last night, I saw lollypops on special and thought it would be nice to have one, so I bought it. I was sitting at the bus stop, and reached into my bag, to open the sugary ball of pseudo-watermelon flavour. I couldnt open the fucker. The plastic is all twisted around the stem, and glued down. You have to try to twirl it off the stick, but the glue prevents that from happening. So you try to pull the plastic off the actuall ball of the lollypop, but even if you do that, there is that super thin layer that is practically stuck to the lolly. So you end up gnawning at the plastic and the stick, trying to tear the fucking shit off so you can stick the lollypop in your mouth.

I remember going through these trials and tribulations with chupa-chups when I was in primary school. Not other lollypops, only chupa-chups (Oh, and now those messed up starbust juicy ones) have the ‘eating barrier’. You would think, in all this time, the company would have come up with a way for people to consume their product without having to go apeshit to get it unwrapped. I almost clapped and congratulated myself when I opened the lollypop, it was that hard. So, I am calling out Chupa-Chup Co or Inc or whatever. MAKE YOUR LOLLYPOPS EASIER TO OPEN OR I WILL STOP BUYING ONE A YEAR…